I attended a (non-financial planning) diversity presentation recently. It included a statement that for those who feel like they don’t fit in, they feel like they don’t fit in on an average of 6 different dimensions! That’s a lot of ways to feel isolated.

Now, I read about 3 financial planning related books per month, in addition to my fun books. About a week ago I had picked up a recommended book: “Happy Money: the science of smarter spending” by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton, available through the Rochester Public Library. And I had to put it down almost as fast as I’d picked it up, because within the Prologue the authors had already made a statement that from my perspective was completely false and demonstrated such a lack of understanding of me, there was no point in going on.

I grew up happy in a rural area, with no other children in the neighborhood for many years, roaming a 100+ acre woods. What fatal mistake did the authors make? They claimed that that using a financial windfall to buy a little mountain with a little house was a selfish decision, and one that is counterproductive for happiness. I felt completely disconnected from the perspective of the author, who obviously did not understand me as an introvert and nature needer.

Now, knowing that I didn’t have to take the author’s advice, after about a week I was able to go back to the book to try to take what was valuable and applicable to me. But it was uncomfortable, I couldn’t enjoy the book, because I still felt judged and misunderstood.

Anyone who accidentally gets your back up by pushing hard on one of your diversity buttons, is going to have a difficult time getting through to you on the important topics that they were trying to communicate to you. I’m going to assume the best of intentions for them, but it’s still not going to result in a highly collaborative and trusting relationship. There are so many possible aspects of diversity, from the more typical race and sex, to the less commonly addressed and invisible (but still highly important) introverted/extrovertedness spectrum and the giftedness spectrum.

If instead of an author, whose advice I could take or leave without consequences, what if I was trying to find a financial advisor who could best support me? With choosing a financial planner, it’s not just about their ability to manage your investments, it’s about being able to teach and guide you, to connect with you. Those are psychological-based activities you can’t benefit from, if you and they aren’t aligned on a multitude of fronts.

Take a look at some visualizations of potential diversity characteristics, see which ones are most important to you, and prioritizing finding yourself a fiduciary financial advisor who understands those aspects of you. There are many fiduciary financial planners in the United States, it’s worthwhile to invest the time to find someone you can connect with, who understands your perspective well enough that you connect, so you can be mentored along your life and financial journey.