2020 is almost over, how have you given back?
Community service has always been important in my family. We always did things like picking up trash on the roads in our neighborhood, volunteering at our local library, and sinking hours/days/weeks at a time into sharing what we knew to keep paddlers safe at our local rivers.
When my own kids were so little they couldn’t walk yet, they came with us to community events like the local science fair, riding the day in a carry pack, so us adults could spend the day cheering the 2nd-6th graders on as they enjoyed science. Once they became toddlers, they started having jobs at the science fair – post fair clean up of all of the paper and pencils that would inevitably escape onto the floor; they were the perfect size to hunker and happily participate by picking up all those adult-back-breaking escapees. Now that they’re school aged, they still help pick up the papers and pencils (after all, they’re still some of the shortest volunteers there), but now they also help chase down volunteer coordinators for the next set of instructions, stack chairs, and act as traffic controllers for the big carts of collapsed tables that have to go blindly around corners.
At dinner this evening, with Thanksgiving approaching and my younger child wanting to choose a blessing for our meal, my older child was struggling with expressing thankfulness. Not that she isn’t thankful, but she’s reached the age where verbalizing such things can feel embarrassing. We explained it to her like this: We are all blessed in many ways. We all realize it, but realizing it in your brain isn’t nearly as effective as having to verbalize it out loud. “Just like sometimes you don’t want a hug but you need one, believe your parents know what’s good for you.” We settled on an expectation that she will express personalized gratitude for things from the year at Thanksgiving (my kids like to know all the expectations in advance!), and that she will participate in the meal blessing without a fuss starting once a month (with the goal of working up to once a week).
With tomorrow being Veteran’s Day, dinner conversation also included homework for school – learning about who they know who honorably served, and how they served (so that then the kids can write thank you cards). This was an interesting opportunity for me too, as it gave me an excuse to check in with my family’s honorary historian, my mom. Turns out I had misunderstood or misremembered some of the family service stories growing up, and so it was nice to get a chance to talk through the realities. I learned about the WWII and Vietnam drafts mechanics, ROTC, reserve service, and being a tunnel rat and NCO in Vietnam. Now those are people to be thankful for.
Today I also finished a certificate program in philanthropy, jointly hosted by the Financial Planning Association and the American Heart Association:
I learned a lot about the financial options for giving back to non-profits, including a way to emulate the no longer generally available Stretch IRA, if you’re also charitably inclined with your finances. More on that another day; for now, we’re focusing on the big picture, not the money.
2020 has been a hard year for everyone. You’ve received support from friends, family, and your local or national community, whether you’ve realized it or not (probably you do!). That support may have been emotional, physical, in the form of your community grocery store investing extra resources in keeping their stores and carts clean, or in the form of doctors and nurses putting their personal lives on hold in order to provide extraordinary levels of care to a very challenging group of patients while in the middle of a PPE shortage. Maybe you needed to visit a food bank, or your neighbors helped you with the winterizing chores you never had time for. Maybe your parents handed you an extra stack of $20’s, or your friend held your virtual hand when you called her late at night in tears over the challenges of working while parenting a distance learner. If you haven’t already, now that 2020 is starting to approach its close, please reflect on, and give thanks for, all that was good in 2020.
And then think about what you can do to help continue to strengthen your community, your family, your friend network, as we head into winter. If you can give financially, there are many charities needing funding to continue doing great work in your neighborhood. If you can give of your time, there are some events still happening in person, and others need volunteers online.
As the news out there keeps getting bleaker, please take some time to reflect on the positive things in your year. My wish for you is that you spend November as a month of thankfulness, instead of just thinking of it on Thursday November 26th. It’s been a hard year, and some time of reflection and appreciation is good for all of us.
Take care.